It's the end of the world as we know it... again

*Disclaimer: I don't mean to offend anyone. We are all entitled to our own beliefs.*

So about an hour ago I started seeing facebook statuses about a rapture tomorrow. Actually I saw something like a week ago but my lazy ass didn't decide to Google it until an hour ago.
If you weren't already aware, we've got another end of the world rumor going around and tomorrow, May 21, 2011 is supposed to be the big rapture... followed by the destruction of the world on October 21, 2011.
...Then there are those who believe the Rapture has already happened and if you're reading this right now, I'm sorry, but you've been left behind. I'm serious, Google it.
The website I clicked on said "Noah Knew, We Can Too!". Isn't that awesome? I mean, I can't pretend that I'm very knowledgeable about Bible stuff (because I haven't been to church in years. Sorry Mom.) but I do remember learning in Sunday School that no one will know "the day or the hour" of Jesus' return. (Is Jesus supposed to return the day of the rapture? I don't know).
But let's just say that tomorrow IS the Rapture. Crazy, right? So all the money you've spent on a college education, and all the hours spent sitting at a cubicle in an office just trying to get ahead so one day you'll have the money and time to do everything you've always wanted to do... it's all for naught because your life is over today. Maybe you're still young and single and hoping to one day get married and have a family. Sorry, sucker. You're going to die alone.
If you're not one of the lucky ones who have their ticket to Heaven already secured, then you're going to have to endure a summer of Hell. The economy will collapse completely, it will be total anarchy and if you're really unlucky, you might be killed in some major natural disaster, rocket-launching you into eternal damnation. To make matters worse, this all might be accompanied by the zombie apocalypse. I don't know, I don't make the rules.
So we're all going to be running around with whatever money we have in our wallets, trying to avoid some sort of mega tornado-earthquake-volcano while fighting off zombies. Or worse, we'll have to deal with a zombie hurricane that brings out all the dead bodies out of the ocean... Bin Laden will probably (definitely) be the leader.
Or you know, things are just going to suck. A lot.
Do you have a rapture plan?? If your plan is to ascend to Heaven, congratulations- you picked the correct belief system! If you're staying on Earth, maybe the best plan is to get wasted and party until October. I'm not sure which category I'll end up in, so if I'm stuck on Earth I'll be making my way overseas and living out the rest of my days in Amsterdam... completely out of my mind.

I personally think I'm going to wake up tomorrow, eat my egg whites omelet and then work on my laundry, and send a few emails. Amsterdam would have been exciting, though. Maybe next year.